you have probably noticed that this is no longer admillsap studio. yep. sometimes in order for something to end and to allow something to begin, there needs to be a name change.
you see… when i first chose my business name, admillsap studio, i was signed up to attend art shows, and galleries. i opened my etsy shop, ordered business cards, and started this website. then in just a few short weeks, i started to battle against severe anxiety and panic attacks. you can read about that here and here.
and for the next three years, i have battled against fear, anger, frustration, and simply… fighting to get back into my studio. if you follow me on instagram, you may have seen that i have indeed painted, sclupted, and created… but i lost most of my joy in it. my studio had become a place of…darkness. of intense fear. of i-don’t-deserve-this-space. so much so that one day, my mom came out to the farm to simply sit in my studio so i wouldn’t fear the place the once brought me so much joy. she sat with me, not speaking, but to just let me know i wasn’t alone. i was simply trying to fight against the darkness in the only way i knew how. then this summer a thought came to me (possibly the Holy Spirit?) that i need a fresh start. a new beginning. a new song. one where the name brought me hope, inspired me, and reminded me what i was created to do. to start again. and to do away with the name that came with a reminder of when the fear and panic started. to do away with the name that came with a reminder of all that i had loss.
Plein Ayre Meadows
a place of fresh beginnings. of hope and peace. a place all about God and Jesus and less about me.